I've been home for a few weeks now. Since being home, I’ve taken it upon myself to go on a daily hour long walk (sometimes run if I’m in the mood) around my neighborhood. During these walks I’ve had much time to think, and a main thought process I have is how different life is from here v.s. New York.
First and foremost, there are far fewer people here, obviously. But every single person I pass smiles. Or waves. Or gives that little nod that silently says, I acknowledge your existence. At first it caught me off guard, I forgot how normal it is here.
In New York, making eye contact with a stranger almost feels like breaking an unspoken rule. I don’t think it’s because people are unfriendly. It's just instinct when you're surrounded by millions of people every day.
The other day I had issues with my maps so I pulled over on the side of the road and I was in a more country farm area and every car that passed by asked if I was okay. That was so refreshing because if that was in New York, literally no one would’ve cared. I have fully been followed harassed and had several witnesses around for every time and 99% of the time literally no one will step up and say even a word. But here, where there are fewer people, every interaction feels a little more human. And I've realized how much I missed that.
Being away from New York has also made me think a lot about friendship. Most of my friends are concentrated in the city, so coming home means suddenly being physically far away from almost everyone I’m used to seeing.
And I think distance has a funny way of showing you which friendships really matter. When you can’t just text someone asking if they want to grab dinner or meet you somewhere in twenty minutes, maintaining a friendship becomes much more intentional. You notice who continues to call, who checks in, who sends you something because it reminded them of you. You also notice who you naturally want to keep reaching out to.
I don't necessarily think that friendships fading with distance means they weren't real or important. Sometimes people are just meant to be a huge part of one chapter of your life. But being away has made me appreciate the people who remain present even when being friends is no longer as convenient.
Nature is another thing I never really think about missing until I leave the city. New York obviously has parks and trees and little pockets of nature, but there is something completely different about being somewhere quiet enough to actually hear birds. I’ll sit outside and watch them chase each other around the yard, and sometimes I realize I can't hear a single car or another person.
There are probably more than twenty different species of flowers growing in my backyard right now. My grandparents are visiting from India, and almost every day my grandmother goes outside, picks a few, and brings them back to us as little gifts. It's such a small thing, but I love it.
And at night, I can see the stars. That sounds like such an insignificant observation, but I genuinely forget they’re there when I’m in New York. There’s something grounding about looking up and actually seeing a sky full of them. It reminds me that the world is so much bigger than whatever I'm stressed about that day.
I've also been cooking so much more since I've been home. I cooked in New York too, but when I’m stressed or busy, grocery shopping is usually one of the first things I neglect. When there are a million restaurants around you and you can have basically anything delivered to your door, eating out becomes the easiest option.
Since being home, I've spent significantly less money on food while also eating better. I've been cooking actual meals and eating food that feels nourishing and healthy for my body.
It has made me realize how much the environment you're in shapes your habits. In New York, convenience is everywhere, and I think sometimes I mistake convenience for something actually being good for me.
That realization extends beyond food. I've been spending so much less money here, partially because there just aren't as many opportunities to spend it. In New York, spending money is so intertwined with socializing that you almost stop noticing it. Want to see a friend? Get dinner. Want something to do? Go shopping. Get drinks. See a show. Go to a club. Grab coffee.
Obviously, all of those things are fun, and they're part of what I love about living there. But being home has made me realize how normalized it became for me to associate having fun with buying something.
Here, I go on walks. I sit outside. I cook. I read. I spend time with my family. None of these things are particularly exciting, and almost none of them cost anything. And yet, I don't necessarily feel like I'm missing something.
I think that might be the biggest difference I've noticed since coming home is that I feel more comfortable doing nothing.
In New York, there is always something happening. That's one of the best things about the city, but I also think it can be one of the most exhausting. There is always another restaurant you haven't tried, another event you could be at, another person you could see, another thing you could be doing.
Sometimes I find myself saying yes to things I don't even really want to do because the alternative is staying home and feeling like everyone else is out living their lives without me.
And that feeling goes beyond my social life. I think a general theme of my life in New York is the constant feeling that I'm not doing enough. If I'm not working, I should be socializing. If I'm not socializing, I should be working. If I'm doing neither, I should probably be exercising, cleaning, answering emails, going somewhere, seeing something.
There is always this pressure to optimize every hour. Being home has forced me out of that rhythm. My days are quieter. Sometimes the most eventful part of my day really is my hour-long walk around the neighborhood.
A few weeks ago, I probably would've found that boring. Now, I think I'm starting to understand the difference between being bored and being at peace.
I still love New York. I love the energy, the people, the endless things to do, and the feeling that something interesting could happen every time I walk out my door. I don't think being home has made me want to abandon that life. But it has reminded me of all the things that life makes very easy to forget.
Maybe neither place is necessarily better. They just pull different versions of me to the surface. And after being away for so long, it has been nice to meet this version of myself again.
